APATHY

I just hate it when the sky remains stubbornly gray;

Refusing to give in and just burst.

Why won’t it just pour down and let the earth feel its tears?

Is it because it is proud or because it fears rejection?

Loath and belittlement from the creatures who shall witness its downfall?

Looking up at it makes me want to cry.

Maybe because I know how painful it feels

Nobody appreciating your presence

Nobody willing to withstand your agony

Especially when you so much wanted them to

The sky is not asking for repayment

It just wants to avail to your services as someone it considers a friend at night

Looking back at the many times you shared together,

Star-gazing, listening to your wishes, delighting the pigments of your imagination

And now, now that it cannot at the moment give you twinkling diamonds,

You just forget as though what you had were all pretenses?

Thinking about it makes me want to cry.

Maybe because I know how unfair it feels

Must it always remain sunny and vibrant, all signs of pretense hard and cold on its visage?

Must it always be the one to yield to its audience below?

Must it have to bear its sorrows alone?

If you were in its place, do you think you could take it all?

I know I’m fighting a losing battle here

What, with no men behind me? What would you expect?!

Painful as it may be, I guess I’ll just have to save myself alone.

I’ll just have to untangle my confused brain again,

Glue together my torn heart together,

Wipe my tears away with my own hanky.

For no other one will do them for me

I am just a flightless bird, diving too deep for coins

I got nothing beneath my sleeves

Just gotta do my prince-saving thing solo and raw.

For I am an individual, no one is like me, nor will there ever be

I can be strong enough to lift the heavy weight of my weeping heart

I can be strong enough to face these blades, and when I do get slain and cut, I can sew myself together again for I’ve learned to become a good sewer.

I am in no debt with another.

But the problem is..will I ever learn to need someone..again?