fLuCtUaTiOnS

the weather today seems to mirror how im feeling right now. i never really intended to feel this way..i mean who would??!!..but it came just as unexpectedly as i never expected it would. It all started just when i felt confident..its as though fate did not want me to be so...fate loves to boss me around and sometimes i get so fed up!!!! i mean...would you want to continue to reach for the finish line when you already know someone will get there first and that you are only doomed to get a glimpse of it but never actually reach it??!!!! how would one endure that feeling, especially when that person is placed in a moment where familiar friendly faces are no where in sight...it just breaks mind to think about it, and believe me..i can think about it especially now that my mind is nothing but a tape that keeps on wallowing in despair and frustrations; refusing to listen to reason because it is already tired of it..not even the nicest book in the world can distrac my already distracted mind...I HATE THIS DAY!!!! now i just realized that i owe fate two days of misery for a close save fate gave to me yesterday..how am i ever going to survive??!!! tell me!! how am i ever going to get pass a day that i know i just cant bear to face..how!!! could hiding possibly solve it..i think not..here i go again with my thinking..hahay...im not making any sense right now, dont you think???!!! oh well...i cant wait for friday when all these would be over..but i better not feel to excited or else fate would interfere again as fate usually would...