Return to Sender

Nothing hurts more painfully than having your sincerity doubted and rejected by the people you've willingly invested yourself into. The pain is like a nail repeatedly pounded into your heart and lungs that you could only hope to survive for the night. It damages your unblemished point of view, which has been nothing but optimistic, hopeful, and considerate. It pushes you to question the nature of mankind and the anatomy of one's psychology to the brink of doubting everything that education, morals, and experiences have taught you. The stinging tears that refuse to fall makes your nerves falter and you grasp for anything that is real to support you but you find none because nobody knows what reality really is. When at last you wake up after a sleepless night of internal bleeding, you force yourself to stand up and face the world again, plastering a broken smile and averting eyes that still refuse to let go. You walk like a zombie as you try to keep life going and in your head, the saddest of all sad songs play in harmony with your steps and your life flashes before you as you swallow the betrayal of the world you so loved.

Then, you try to reason yourself why it bothers you so much. Then again, you realize it would not have hurt if you had not have cared. And I just could not get the cliche that the heart only gets stronger after it is broken because it is not reality. Reality is pain, reality is agony, reality is anger..not some silly optimistic and hypocritical quotation.

Yes. It hurt when I received that big "RETURN TO SENDER" note. But I smiled when I read, "FOR A BETTER ADDRESS".